I forgot what it was like to talk to you. The way we talk is so different to how I interact with anyone else yet it still feels so familiar. I’m starting to remember your little quirks and I’m glad I didn’t have to lose you completely.
We needed to stop deluding ourselves that our little trio was going to last. They say its for the best. I’ll be the bad guy if I have to, I just hope someday you can forgive me.
Its been so long since we’ve talked and I only realised now how much I missed you. As much as I love you, it hurts when I know you still judge me so harshly.
I was in the best mood all day. You know that feeling you get when you are just happy about everything? Everything just seems to be right and you love the whole world. I guess it’s because I managed to fit some new scenery into my routine today and it just made me feel so good. I can’t wait to just get out of school and finally do things with myself that might matter.
I’ve decided that Fridays are my off days now so was skyping with some new friends when my dad comes in and lectures me about studying and how I should be doing it so that I can get somewhere that matters in life. It was like he personally picked up my ball of happiness and smashed onto the ground and shattered it into a million pieces. My amazing mood is gone.
Why do you have to be like that? Why can’t you just understand that there is more than one way for me to succeed in life, and by success in mean happiness. Right now though your perception of that, being the one any only merry Med road, doesn’t match mine and it makes me really sad that you can’t accept that. I’m not angry anymore, I’m just disappointed and I’m starting to think that that is probably worse.
I’m not cold.
I’m not heartless.
I’m not playing hard to get.
I just haven’t found him yet.
I watched the entire season of Once Upon a Time in 2 days but only after it was over did I realise how much I didn’t like it. The graphics were awful, there were far too many loop holes in the plot and there were not even close to enough attractive people (the only one there was was killed off in the first couple of episodes unfortunately).
Why did I watch it then?
I guess, as naive as this sounds, it makes me want to believe in true love. Love stories make me want to believe that there is a person out there who will make me happy no matter what happens, so long as we’re together. It makes me want to believe that this person will make me a better person than I can be on my own. I want to believe that there is someone who I can ultimately share everything with and this will make us stronger.
You do it every time. Maybe it’s because you have no concept of privacy. Maybe you just don’t understand what is yours to use to draw attention to yourself and what is not yours to tell.
I asked you not to say anything and you went and did it anyway. You know what your biggest flaw is? You are selfish and it will always be your downfall.
I really like the idea of designing my own formal dress. I already know that I want it to look like but, problems with that are:
- I’m no designer so it may end up looking awful
- who’s gonna actually make it?
- budget
Spent the past 3 hours researching about how to make macarons… I might just be brave enough to have another attempt soon
What does this even mean?
First of all, what is youth?
- freedom?
- physical health?
- time?
- opportunity?
By any definition, no one should be accusing us of wasting or criticising our living because last time I checked, it was my life not anyone else’s. People, and that is what we are regardless of our age, are not born with the purpose of fulfilling other’s expectations or standards and certainly not to carry out unfulfilled goals and desires.
The way we live is driven by what we want and that being what would make us happy momentarily. Only doing otherwise would be considered a waste of our time. Nothing is a waste of youth, some things may be reckless, but not a waste.
The fact that we can experience everything freely and purely is the gift of being young. Why do others want to take that away from us by telling us we aren’t feeling and living ‘the right way’? We will grow up one day but it doesn’t have to be today.
Youth is spoiled through time and that’s how we get people who are old and bitter.
Why? I look at you and you are just another big goofy idiot, stumbling through just like the rest of us. Then I turn around in another moment and I see everything that I could dream of, in you. And now I can’t get rid of this thought or this feeling. What am I supposed to do with it?
Had lunch with some of my closest friends a few days ago. It was the last day of term for private school kids so we went out to eat at Glenny. Ended up feasting at the Pancake Parlor. It was fabulous and afterward we continued to sit in the booth for a solid hour refusing to move in case of disturbing our food babies. I had a really intense dnm with one after the other had left. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a deep conversation and one where I’ve honestly been comfortable enough to say anything at all. Not that we weren’t close already but it definitely reminded me how much I love her.
On another note, I’m so ready for these holidays. I just hope I don’t waste it.
